so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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