Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
