Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize