when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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