you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
