So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
