His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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