This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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