you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize