I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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