You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
