On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize