32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I supernannyed him into submission
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
