jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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