mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
