all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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