So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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