hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
