Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
