What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize