I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
