All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
