is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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