nut hugger
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
