So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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