i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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