the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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