Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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