need another drink. this is the easiest way
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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