Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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