I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize