My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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