Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
