she kept yelling 'call me bella'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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