the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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