I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
