Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize