I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
