That's when you crack a 10am beer
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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