I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
