So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
