My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
