the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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