Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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