STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
