Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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