Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
