so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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