Don't you send me to vm
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
