Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sober January is a disaster.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
