I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
