I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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