Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
