You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
