Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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