I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
