bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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