So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
