We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
