The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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