I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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