She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
