hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
