I hate your face
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize