I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I intend to get homeless drunk
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
this hospital has no fireball
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
