I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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