maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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