She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
